Or A First Cooking Installment for the Brooklyn Skeptic

Pasta is a damn satisfying thing if you take 3 hours to make a five meat ragu, but when you’re looking for a quick homespun meal, its pretty sweet how fast you can get an authentic, gourmet-looking Italian creation together.

I was watching Lidia Bastianich on public access and saw the technique at work. So I decided to blatantly rip it off and bring it to you here. However, I will say that WLIW21 NY public access is a pretty dope channel when they air “Jacques Pepin’s Fast Food My Way” and “Lidia’s Italy.” Too bad the Food Network prefer hiring a bunch of jackasses instead of keeping the real cooks around (you’re cool, Mario).

A Quick Taste of Italy at Home

Serves 2-3 people (I don’t know how hungry you are damnit! Estimate!)

Pick up on your way home:

• A box of any kind of pasta you want (preferably not enriched)

• Canned San Marzano tomatoes from Italy (or cheaper brands if you wish)

And now at your option, here are some suggestions for a main topping:

• Capers, Anchovies, both of the latter, good quality canned tuna, shredded chicken breast or thighs, diced sausage, any cheese, whatever you have on hand!

• Of course, you have garlic, olive oil and oregano in your pantry. Dice up a nice big clove of garlic.

Alright, get a pot of water boiling. As much as you can, like a gallon. Now salt the living hell out of it with kosher salt.

Meanwhile, get out a large saute pan and put in a generous amount of olive oil. When piping hot, add garlic. Cook it carefully not to burn it and when you feel its about to get brown turn that heat down.

Add the pasta to the pot of boiling water.

Get those canned tomatoes in a bowl (having drained some of the excess water) and crush them with your hand. Really get in there and love it up. Now drop them tomatoes in the saute pan. Add in some oregano. Salt and Pepper to taste.

Now add the capers if you have them and the pre-cooked main topping you want.

Drain pasta. Drop into the saute pan and finish and let simmer couple minutes till perfect.

Make sure you do a nice job with the garnishing! (Parsley, parmesan, pepper, truffles, drugs…etc.)

I have a preference for capers and anchovies with some parmiggiano reggiano. Si si.