Brooklyn Skeptic

3:10 to Yuma: Christian Bale and Russell Crowe face off in a “who can mask their foreign accent in exchange for sounding like Sam Elliott” competition in this remake of the 1957 Western of the same name. While most were impressed with director James Mangold’s Walk the Line, I am excited that he also wrote and directed the underrated Cop Land, as well as wrote Oliver & Company. Oliver & Company! Dogs and cats getting along and singing Billy Joel songs! Cheech Marin! This is playing at the Park Slope Pavilion, United Artists on Court Street and Cobble Hill Cinemas.

The Brothers Solomon: Will Forte and Will Arnett star as the two titular brothers who attempt to honor their father’s dying wish by producing a grand-child. This has a great cast, including Kristen Wiig, Bill Heder, Bob Odenkirk (who also directed) and Jenna Fischer. On the other hand, the last time Will Arnett and Bob Odenkirk teamed up, the result was Let’s Go To Prison. At least Dax Shepard isn’t in this one. Because of my undying love for all things Gob, I will be seeing this. This is playing at the Regal Battery Park 11, AMC Loews on 19th St. and the AMC Loews on 3rd Ave.

Shoot ‘Em Up: This movie certainly doesn’t win any points for subtlety. From the trailer, these are several things that I have figured out about Clive Owen:

• Clive Owen can shoot people while on conveyor belts, get to the end, and then shoot them from beneath.
• Clive Owen can engage in a full-on gun battle while holding infants.
• Clive Owen can have sex with Monica Belucci while shooting various assailants.
• Clive Owen can shoot people while falling out of a plane.
• Clive Owen can teach an army of monkeys to detonate explosives while simultaneously pleasuring the Dallas Cowboys cheerleading squad and making origami swans with his feet.

Alright, I made up the last one, but four out of five isn’t bad. This movie looks utterly ridiculous, and pretty damn entertaining too. This is playing at the United Artists on Court Street, Prospect Park Pavilion and Cobble Hill Cinemas.

Call us, Clive.

I Want Someone to Eat Cheese With: Jeff Garlin, who plays Larry David’s friend on Curb Your Enthusiasm, now has written and directed his own movie. While everyone may not know Garlin, the film also stars Bonnie Hunt, Sarah Silverman and the awesome Amy Sedaris. You have to ask yourself the question: will I pay ten bucks to watch Jeff Garlin and Sarah Silverman eat a wheel of cheese? This is playing at the IFC Center.

The Hunting Party: Richard Gere reminds us that he’s still making movies and not just doing yoga and making enemies in this new film about a reporter who goes to post-war Bosnia in search of a war criminal. It’s from the director of the underrated The Matador, and also stars Jesse Eisenberg (The Squid and the Whale) and Terrence Howard. It’s playing at the Landmark Sunshine.

In The Shadow of the Moon: A documentary about the Apollo Space Mission that has absolutely nothing to do with Ron Howard or Tom Hanks. Thus far, it’s been getting incredible reviews. It’s playing at the Landmark Sunshine.

Romance & Cigarettes: Kudos to John Turturro. After some legal issues with his studio and various other problems, he has finally decided to release this film out of his own pocket. Go see it! Support the guy who has brought us such fantastic characters as: Pino from Do The Right Thing, Barton Fink, Roland T. Flakfizer from Brain Donors, the voice of Monkeybone, Jesus in Big Lebowski, Herbie Stempel in Quiz Show, etc. This is my pick of the week. Even if you don’t like Turturro, the film also stars James Gandolfini, Christopher Walken, Mandy Moore, Susan Sarandon, Kate Winslet, Steve Buscemi, Mary Louise Parker, Eddie Izzard and Amy Sedaris. GO SEE IT! It’s playing at Film Forum.

** I forgot to include the movie Hatchet. Although I can only find it listed uptown at the AMC Empire 25, it is definitely worth the trip. I had the pleasure of seeing this awesome horror movie at the Tribeca Film Festival last year, and it kicks ass. Adam Green, the writer/director, spoke after the screening about how he wants to bring originality back to the horror genre, and this movie is definitely a big step in that direction. Check out the website here.