Manning Up for West Virginia
May 13, 2008 by oneiroi
West Virigina votes today. It’s interesting to see how this has all been shaping up lately. Each of the candidates trying hard to connect with the hard working types of the midwest…ish..ness.
First, Obama picks up a masculine centric game that doesn’t end in embarassment. Pool.
By the way I’ve tried that behind-the-back shot several times. I’ve missed every one of them. So this should mean something to the electorate. I have also been thinking about the “masculinity off” of last election and how as far as the most recent ones go (bowling and pool?), they are rather wimpy ones. Even metro sexual. Very low chances of getting out of breath or breaking a nail. There’s less of that gun wielding and football throwing.
Now I hope I’m not showing my bias too much, because I blame Hillary for the lack of testosterone so far (this is surprising because as some of you may have heard, she has three testicles) I’m sure she’s turned down any of the challenges of a nice cage match wrestling event (editors note: turns out this was incorrect), and instead has really hidden away in the drink. This is a really clever way of avoiding the more physical pandering maneuvers, and clinches last year’s segment of “I’d like to drink with that candidate” vote. Which really, turns out to be a great test for president.
Either way, she is set to win West Virginia. A thing of note is that West Virginia has a claim to fame. They like claiming, “Every nominee has carried the state’s primary since 1976, and no Democrat has won the White House without winning West Virginia since 1916.”. It’s a beautiful sentiment: That the quaint, nice, sometimes misinformed (come on, secret Muslims can’t play pool!), hard working West Virginians, are microcosms of American Democrats everywhere! The truth I found much more amusing. Turns out, they’re just always last at these things. So by always being last, they get to choose the presumptive nominee any ways. Well spun West Virginia, well spun. You deserve it though, after years of feeling like the “other” Virginia…you need something to hold on to!
Well so tonight we’ll see how this primary turns out. But it’s still more than likely that Obama will clench the nomination, giving me hope that I might see Obama and McCain have an arm wrestling match for the general election. Then we’ll know for sure who is tough enough to be the President of the United States.
do you think clinton learned the ole coyote ugly how-to-take-shot-and-spit-them-back-into-your-chaser trick?
cause seriously, otherwise she must be getting plastered.
AND, why didn’t either of them do any meth with the electorate in NY before the elections?
dicks.
I think they’re intimidated by Obama’s experience at drugs. He would trounce them and it would be embarrassing for everyone.
This also made me think, while they all like doing things as photo ops, there’s not enough interaction between candidates during these events.
I say, they should have an intense game of beer pong.
It is interesting that a state with a current senior DEMOCRATIC Senator who was formerly a Ku Klux Klansman would be a microcosm for the democratic party.
Who isn’t a former klansman these days?
Oh right….
who can blame a man whose name at birth was Cornelius Calvin Sale, Jr…
WV is a nice state, I once had a bad interaction with a deer and a car there. An experience every American should have.