Brooklyn Skeptic » Not Bad http://brooklynskeptic.net Wed, 10 Jun 2009 22:29:59 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Gowanus Update http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/04/20/gowanus-update/ http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/04/20/gowanus-update/#comments Fri, 20 Apr 2007 18:10:26 +0000 Administrator http://brooklynskeptic.net/?p=55 My charming and incredibly handsome roommate has informed me of several updates in Gowanus. First of all, apparently Sludgie was not the first whale seen in the Gowanus area. I especially like the part when someone compares Gowanus to “a ‘region of the dead,’ like the River Styx of mythology.” Comforting.
And secondly, Gowanus Yacht Club

]]> http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/04/20/gowanus-update/feed/ 0 Re: Willy’s Free http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/04/19/re-willy%e2%80%99s-free/ http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/04/19/re-willy%e2%80%99s-free/#comments Thu, 19 Apr 2007 18:16:33 +0000 Administrator http://brooklynskeptic.net/?p=63 Had I known. That. There was a whale. Down the street from me. In. The Gowanus Canal. I. Would have. Dropped whatever I was doing. To. See. That. Shit.
I. Love. Whales.
In all seriousness though, there being a whale in the Gowanus

]]> http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/04/19/re-willy%e2%80%99s-free/feed/ 0 RIP Sludgie http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/04/19/rip-sludgie/ http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/04/19/rip-sludgie/#comments Thu, 19 Apr 2007 18:14:51 +0000 Administrator http://brooklynskeptic.net/?p=61 I want to say, this has been a tough week. Lots of negative things going on. But you…you brightened people’s hearts. The idea of a whale in Brooklyn put a smirk on all of our faces.
I hoped you could have moved on, found a group of fellow whales, swam away in cleaner, gentler waters…(less bodies,

]]> http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/04/19/rip-sludgie/feed/ 0 Gowanus Debate Series: Dirty Words http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/03/05/gowanus-debate-series-dirty-words/ http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/03/05/gowanus-debate-series-dirty-words/#comments Mon, 05 Mar 2007 22:10:53 +0000 Administrator http://brooklynskeptic.net/?p=146

I think there’s one more thing that must be noted about our favorite river of filth oozing through the heart of Brooklyn: subliminal messages.

gowANUS cANAL

It’s as though the under-appreciated body of water is saying, “look everyone, there is one other thing in the world that’s nastier than me.”

Earlier:

Gowanus Canal Debate Series: Yay
Gowanus Canal Debate Series: Nay
Gowanus Canal Debate Series: Yay II

]]> http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/03/05/gowanus-debate-series-dirty-words/feed/ 0 Gowanus Canal Debate Series: Nay http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/02/28/gowanus-canal-debate-series-nay/ http://brooklynskeptic.net/2007/02/28/gowanus-canal-debate-series-nay/#comments Wed, 28 Feb 2007 17:49:34 +0000 Administrator http://brooklynskeptic.net/?p=29 Friend: I am so nay. Though you bring up some interesting facts about our dear Gowanus Canal, it’s not enough to change my mind on the matter. Fact is, the Gowanus Canal is a potentially harmful stream of chemicals that spawns mutant mosquitoes during the summer. And being just one block away from the man made toxic water hole, I must bear the brunt of this ‘squito situation. People often think screening one’s windows will be enough to deter some flimsy little mosquito from entering into an apartment. However, when mosquitoes are brought to life by an ungodly pool of poison, they inherit the strength of an angry soccer mom and are able to physically bend screen wires open with their arms. I’ve seen this occur. It’s some crazy shit. That being said, I will go on to rebut some of your “high” points. Even though, I think I just won this argument by sharing my *true story, which is based on *actual events.

So you say, “The Canal has proven itself an exceptional receptacle for rats caught in a certain apartment that were not executed in an electric box.” First of all, nothing is better than a rat killing electric box. I think you and I both know that’s true. There isn’t anything more satisfying than waking up to a dead rat in your kitchen, fried, and in an electric casket. But more importantly, I recently watched a documentary on rats and if you think throwing them into a poisonous canal will kill them, you are wrong. Dead (but not a dead rat) wrong. Rats maintain the ability to collapse their skeletons into the size of a nickel and can live in a toilet for weeks at a time. Do you really believe a pool of toxic fluid can kill them? If anything at all, toxins will just make them bigger, stronger, and yup, you guessed it, deadlier. Have you never seen “The Hulk”? Because I have, and the last thing this world needs is a monster (!!!) size rat wearing cut-off jean shorts. (That’s what the Hulk wore when he got really big. Jean shorts are known for their great elasticity.)

You also mention, “The Canal is an excellent place to unburden yourself of illegal firearms – or legal firearms that were used in an illegal act.” Wrong. If anything, the forces of the Canal’s toxic energy molecules would enable loaded firearms to go off on their own, bringing attention to the (hopefully) illegally discarded items. And even if not loaded, that toxic liquid has most likely developed a mind of its own, and therefore would find ways to load the gun itself.

Lastly you bring up, “Without the canal, there would be no need for the little bridges on Union, Carroll, 3rd and 9th Streets.” Hey, have you ever been late to an event or missed the train because there was a divided (cement) bridge in the middle of 9th avenue? Because I have. And you know what bridge that was? Oh, you don’t? Well it was the Gowanus Canal bridge, if you couldn’t already guess by my tone. Although it doesn’t happen often, every once in a while the bridge disbands and you’re forced to wait and watch as a little steam boat passes under. And while that sounds charming, it is. However, being late for restaurant reservations is not.

There you have it, my incredibly accurate, and strong rebuttal. What say, you?

*True story has be

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